November 11th, 2013 at 4:09 pm
Divorce is not easy on any one who is involved. There are various studies that show the effects that divorce has on women and children. Some women may become sad from being out of a relationship while others find a particular freedom from being out of a bad situation. Children can be ever more devastated by a divorce. But the effect on men was revealed in a recent study.
The study is called “The Influence of Divorce on Men’s Health” published in the Journal of Men’s Health. It was a joint study by Dr. W. David Robinson of Utah State University and Dr. Daniel S. Felix of the University of Nebraska-Lincoln. They connected the trauma of divorce with various physical ailments such as heart disease, stroke, and high blood pressure.
There are also emotional reasons why divorce is difficult on men. After being a spouse for a while, it becomes your identity, either due to their thoughts about marriage or society’s constructs. Once a decision is made that ruins that role, it can be more difficult to define that former purpose. This can lead to depression without finding a new responsibility or task.
It is also difficult for fathers to have their paternal ability called into question. Occasionally the shame of a divorce can cause men to pull away from their children. They feel as though they are not necessary to their family because the marriage is over, but they are still important to their children. Maintaining a bond either through custody or visitation can help father’s regain their self-worth.
The last reason that men struggle after a divorce is due to how they typically handle their feelings. Men generally bottle up their feelings and stop themselves from seeking help. They should turn to friends and family to take some of the burden of their emotions. If you are considering filing for divorce and would like some answers, turn to a legal professional for assistance. Contact an experienced divorce attorney in Wheaton who can guide you through the divorce process.
November 8th, 2013 at 1:12 pm
The results of a new study indicate that divorce just may be contagious; when you’re around divorcing couples, you’re more likely to do the same.
The study, conducted by researchers from Brown University, Harvard University and University of California in San Diego, concluded that having a close friend or relative who is divorced can increase the chancefor a person’s own marriage breakup by 75 percent. The study also found that even knowing acquaintances that are divorced raises the risk of breakup by 33 percent.
The study was headed by Dr. Rose McDermott, a professor of political science at Brown University. According to McDermott, divorce is what she calls a “social contagion” – the news of someone’s divorce spreads quickly among family, friends, work colleagues and other social networks people have.
Brown and her team analyzed 30 years of marriage and divorce data collected from residents living in the town of Framingham, Massachusetts. Framingham, a suburb about 20 miles from Boston, has a population of approximately 70,000 people. The data collection began in 1948, from 5,209 women and men who were between the ages of 30 and 62 years old.
The participants were interviewed and had physical exams and lab tests every two years. In 1971, 5100 adult children of the first group were brought into the study. They were interviewed every four years. Because of the size of the town and the volume of people participating , there was a lot of social networking present. Most of the study subjects knew at least ten other people who were participating in the study, giving researchers real insight into how behaviors are affected by family and friends.
Other results concluded by researchers include:
- People who get divorced tend to be pushed out of their social circles, many times losing friends who are part of the ex-spouses social network. And a newly divorced person can sometimes be seen as a threat to married friends who worry they may go after their spouse. This is sometimes referred to as ‘partner poaching.’
- People who are divorced are more likely to remarry someone else who is divorced.
- People who have a strong social network are less likely to divorce.
If you’re going through a divorce, not only is strong support from family and friends important, but having a knowledgeable lawyer is key. Contact an experienced DuPage County family law attorney today.
November 4th, 2013 at 1:08 pm
Divorce is one of the most difficult times that a person can go through. Though divorce is extremely common—according to the Center for Disease Control, the number of divorces and annulments has continued to increase since 2009, after slowing slightly during the Great Recession—some feel a stigma upon marital dissolution. Often, there are complicated matters to deal with, such as child custody or joint parenting. “Shared physical custody is increasingly common in divorce courts across the nation,” Parenting magazine reports. Though this can be good for children of divorce, it can be all the more difficult for divorcing parents.
Working out a plan for shared custody is best done between the parents before getting to court. Reaching an agreement involving child custody is just one aspect of a divorce that is best handled through mediation, instead of legal proceedings. According to NBC News, “divorce proceedings can range anywhere from several hundred to several thousand dollars. Estimates on the average cost of a divorce in the U.S. range from $15,000 to $30,000.” A large chunk of this bill can be eradicated through divorce mediation. “During mediation,” reports NBC News, “the couple hires a mediator trained in conflict resolution and family law (and often, but not always a lawyer) to oversee their negotiations.”
Not only can a mediator help guide you through some of the more difficult areas disagreement, a mediator can “advise you about potential financial and custodial arrangements, and will help to reopen the discussion if things break down,” reports NBC.
If you and your ex are young, divorce mediation could be an especially beneficial avenue to pursue. Young couples usually have less complicated finances to deal with, and sometimes have less deep-seeded negative bias. However, “some divorces are,” according to the American Bar Association, “simply not suitable for mediation.”
If you or someone you know is considering divorce and want to determine if mediation is best for you, don’t go through it alone. Seek the counsel of a qualified family law attorney today.
March 26th, 2013 at 2:04 pm
George Washington once said, “Be courteous to all, but intimate with few, and let those few be well tried before you give them your confidence.” His advice is informed and should be heeded when entering into a high-asset divorce. Failure to do so can result in undesired consequences for the process as a whole. True, good friends and loyal family members can help you to navigate your divorce with grace and dignity. But friends and loved ones who are not quite so true can complicate your divorce proceedings and compromise your ability to obtain the settlement terms you desire.
Unfortunately, high-asset divorces sometimes bring out the worst in friends and loved ones. Those around you may be more concerned about how your divorce settlement terms will affect them than how they will affect you. They may even be inclined to act upon their concerns in ways that affect your divorce process.
For example, say that a relative is named in your joint will with your current spouse. If that relative believes that he or she will not be named in your newly single estate plan but will remain a beneficiary in your spouse’s new will, that relative may actually try to influence your divorce settlement to ensure that you receive fewer assets. It is hard to believe that individuals would behave this way, but it happens more often than you would think.
As a result of the complicated motives of others, it is best to keep the evolving details of your divorce process as close to your chest as is both possible and practical. Confiding in a few trusted persons may be necessary. But failure to keep your process relatively quiet may impact its outcome.
Source: Huffington Post, “Concerning Money: Keep Your Friends Not So Close and Enemies Even Further Away,” Don McNay, Feb. 10, 2013
February 28th, 2013 at 2:04 pm
Sometimes the divorce process inspires an understandable need to vent. Venting can be both cathartic and healthy. But it is critical that should you need to vent about your former spouse that you choose to do so away from social media and the Internet in general. The subject of social media and divorce is becoming increasingly complex. But as more and more divorce attorneys seek to obtain damning evidence about others via the Internet, your best policy is to stay away from social media during your divorce, child custody battle or other family law dispute.
Ideally, it is best to temporarily shut down your accounts on Facebook, Twitter, Foursquare and other social media sites. Doing so may feel temporarily isolating, but by doing so you insulate yourself from potential liability based on activity on these accounts. Even something so harmless as “checking in” at a nice restaurant for your birthday might be perceived by opposing counsel and the court as evidence that you tend to spend money frivolously, which could impact the terms of your eventual divorce, child custody and child support agreements.
If you do not choose to shut down your social media accounts, then please approach their use with extreme caution. Avoid discussing your former spouse, your love life, your spending and travel habits and any other topic that could potentially impact your current family law proceedings.
Social media can serve as a great connector to friends, family, professional colleagues and individuals with similar interests. However, it can also impact your ability to secure the divorce or child custody agreement you deserve. Please consider temporarily shutting down social media accounts during your family law dispute or choose to approach continued use with conscious caution.
Source: CBS Philly, “Expert: Close Social Media Accounts When Going Through A Divorce,” Ian Bush, Jan. 13, 2013
December 7th, 2012 at 1:56 pm
Most divorce proceedings are not the subject of devious behavior. However, sometimes spouses either intentionally or unintentionally fail to disclose various assets to their former spouse and to the court. Whether these assets are intentionally or unintentionally hidden, it is imperative that they be uncovered. Failure to take all marital assets into account when constructing a divorce settlement arrangement can ultimately harm both parties.
How do you go about finding hidden assets? First, you need to know what you’re looking for. Various purchases and rewards are considered assets, even if they are not big ticket items. For example, frequent flyer miles might not strike you as an asset per say. However, they have value and thus must be disclosed.
Other resources you might not ordinarily consider to be assets include outstanding time from a time share program, tax refunds, hobby collections of any value and patents, royalties and copyrights. Basically, any resource you have access to that has or reasonably could have outstanding monetary value in the future should be disclosed during divorce proceedings.
After ensuring that every asset you have knowledge of is disclosed on your end, it may benefit you to investigate whether or not your former spouse is intentionally or unintentionally hiding anything from you. Check credit cards and other financial records for unusual activity or withdrawals, check with your county records office to determine if any real estate exists in your spouse’s name that you are unaware of and discuss the discovery process with your attorney. This information will help you in making important decisions regarding your future and reaching an equitable agreement.
Source: EqualityinMarraige.org, “Hidden Assets and How To Find Them“
November 23rd, 2012 at 1:56 pm
Research recently published in the social work journal Family Relations indicates that when co-parents focus their relationship on the needs of their children, a more satisfying custody arrangement is experienced by all affected family members. Meaning that when parents who are divorced or otherwise not parenting under the same roof put their differences aside for the benefit of their children, these parents benefit from this effort as well.
It can be difficult to know exactly how to go about putting aside your differences and focusing on your children’s needs. After all, in the immediate aftermath of divorce especially, the differences between co-parents can seem overwhelming and all consuming. In order to redirect focus away from tension and onto children, parents are advised to put time and thought into creating a parenting plan.
A parenting plan can outline whatever child-related issues would benefit from being communicated about in advance. For example, the parenting plan can discuss how parents will share time with their children during the holiday season and how disputes about extracurricular activities will be solved.
This form of proactive communication can enable parents to discuss their children’s needs without the tension that accompanies unexpected circumstances, pressure from non-immediate family and other pressing issues that arise in everyday life.
In addition, it is important to keep your children’s best interests at the forefront of your mind when unexpected circumstances do arise. It may frustrate you that your former spouse has won tickets to a professional football game for the weekend you are supposed to have visitation, but if it would deeply benefit your child to go, perhaps a compromised schedule can be reached. When your co-parent frustrates you, and he or she inevitably will, evidence suggests that focusing resolution of the situation on the best needs of your child will ultimately make your world more peaceful in the end.
Source: Deseret News, “Parenting under two roofs: Focusing on the children after divorce,” Rachel Lowry, Oct. 23, 2012
October 26th, 2012 at 1:57 pm
Many people have heard of prenuptial agreements but may be less familiar with the idea of postnuptial agreements. Both are used as tools to define the marital assets of each spouse in the event of a divorce. Postnuptial agreements, however, are drafted after a marriage instead of before like a prenuptial agreement. According to a recent survey, postnuptial agreements are becoming more popular.
The American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers (AAML) found that over half of family law attorneys have seen a rise in postnuptial agreements over the past three years. In particular wives seem to be requesting such agreements more frequently, with over a third of lawyers polled noting a rise in women seeking postnuptial agreements. The survey showed, however, that men still seem to be the party more likely to initiate a request for a postnuptial agreement.
“It is interesting to note the increase in wives requesting postnups, because often one of the most common motivators for these agreements is a dramatic change in the financial status of one or both partners during the marriage,” explained the president of the AAML. He also explained that postnuptial agreements may help spouses deal with conflicts about assets which may threaten a marriage.
Similar to prenuptial agreements, in order for postnuptial agreements to be valid and enforceable they must be drafted to meet specific legal standards. If you are considering a postnuptial agreement an attorney can provide advice and guidance about the options available to achieve your desired goals.
Source: AAML, “Postnuptial Agreements on the Rise Says Survey of Nation’s Top Divorce Lawyers,” September 10, 2012
September 12th, 2012 at 1:59 pm
The bond between grandparents and grandchildren is a very special one. Most grandparents would do just about anything for their grandchildren. For many grandparents this involves contributing financially to their grandchildren’s upbringing. Even when grandparents support their grandchildren financially or in other ways, however, at times their rights to spend time with their grandchildren may be limited by the children’s parents, leaving grandparents unsure where to turn.
Two different trends are currently going on. One is that more grandparents are now financially supporting their grandchildren than ever before. According to AARP, 25 percent of grandparents spend over $1,000 each year on their grandchildren. Over a third reported helping to cover their grandchildren’s daily living expenses.
The other trend is regarding grandparents’ rights, which have not been growing at nearly the same rate as their financial contributions. In fact, since the 2000 U.S. Supreme Court case of Troxel v. Granville, parents have been given more rights to determine when and if their children are allowed to see their grandparents. This can lead to a very frustrating situation for many grandparents desperate to visit with their grandkids.
Regardless of whether grandparents support their grandchildren financially or not, grandparents’ do have some rights to see their grandchildren under certain circumstances. Since this is a complex area of law, however, it is valuable to discuss your case with a knowledgeable Illinois family law attorney. An experienced attorney can provide information about the laws in Illinois governing grandparents’ rights and advice about how best to proceed in your unique situation.
Source: Reuters, “Grandparents, purse strings and divorce,” Temma Ehrenfeld, July 23, 2012
September 4th, 2012 at 1:58 pm
It is the time of year when many students are experiencing those first-day-of-school jitters. Most parents want to do everything they can to ensure their children start the school year off successfully. For divorced parents, there are additional issues that need to be taken into account to ensure things go smoothly for the entire family.
Many of the issues below may be addressed in your Illinois parenting agreement. For those that are not, it may be helpful to communicate with your ex about these matters prior to the school year commencing.
Plan your children’s schedules and routines: Discuss how the children will get to and from school and various activities. Review upcoming events on the school calendar and coordinate it with your parenting schedule to ensure children will be able to attend important school functions.
Discuss how expenses will be divided: Plan out who will handle shopping for back to school outfits and supplies, and how these expenses will be split. Also consider expenses for sports, lessons and field trips. Make sure you are both on the same page about how much money will be spent and who will be paying for what.
Arrange for information to be shared: Information sharing is obviously more challenging when a child’s parents live in separate households. Ask for duplicate mailings of progress reports and other important notifications from the school. Also consider having a folder in the child’s backpack where each parent can see graded papers, art projects and other items of interest to both parents.
All of these tips require successful communication between co-parents. Do your best to work together with the goal of doing what is in the best interests of your child.
Source: The Washington Times, “Back to school tips for divorced parents,” Myra Fleischer, August 20, 2012.